Hashing with the Hares

To my fellow Hashers:

It was hotter than hell outside the morning of the hash. I got all of the sacred beverages loaded and chilled and headed out to meet No-Name-Amy B. We rode out to the meeting spot planning and plotting of the trials we would set for our fellow Hashers.

When we arrived at the spot, we grabbed some drinks and started the trail immediately. We had plenty of hash, chalk and good ideas. Our first goal was to screw over the Turkeys. Silly Turkeys.

Man did we screw over the Turkeys! We marked the longest YBF in SOILHHH history. We took them down a very easy slope of road and grassy area. When they came to a non-existent bridge, there were many notes written. Did they really think we’d let them off that easy? They needed to get their asses back to the Eagle trail! We were nice enough to leave a hint so they wouldn’t be doomed to go on the Eagle YBF.

Those poor Eagles. We took them the wrong way, made them climb rocks, do tea pot songs and more. At one point there was a sign saying, “Don’t you wish you were Turkeys?” To which they better have screamed, “HELL NO!”

The Eagles had a nice surprise at the top of a rock climb. No-Name-Amy B. donated money for some shot bottles so we put them in a small cooler with water and hid them for the Eagles to find.

There was quite a bit of rock climbing for the Eagles. We actually had Did-Jew give a warning that all Eagles were to either have a partner or stick together for safety reasons. I heard much complaining but didn’t care! I hared the Eagle trail on a sprained ankle damn it! 

We felt that we did a great job as hares. We screwed them all over… but did have much beer at the end of the trail to soothe their bitches.

Habeas Whore Piss had a great religion planned. There were new games, tons of songs and much punishment. Also, thanks to wonderful hares, there were swings and park toys at the shelter we picked. We played some sort of football-with-a-frisbee game, watched Did-Jew and Short Circuit jump off the play gym while catching a football… Yes, they had plenty of beer!

Indiana Punweiser and some fellow hashers roasted hotdogs for us. A wonderful, now much respected newbie (No-Name Sarah) brought magic cookies that tasted so much better than normal cookies for some reason. She says they were her “secret recipe,” which made us wonder but they tasted good so we didn’t care.

Overall, I’d say this was one of the best Hashes I’ve ever been to. Very well planned out and a good turn-out of Hashers.

Sincerely,

Hot Doggy